Over the past 9 years I’ve discovered a few things about being married that many people just can’t seem to get. My husband and I both came from backgrounds that were less than desirable. Our role models were, well…not. But through all our obstacles we’ve come out the other side loving one another more and we have more respect for one another that just wasn’t there before. I’ve heard countless men mention that they’d never wash a dish, toilet, or floor. But I’ve also heard women mention “their man ” can’t go anywhere without them because women are deceitful and _ _ _ (you fill that in ).
The thing is, marriage ( relationships in general ) are a partnership. It’s not a dictatorship. You can keep who you are and still bend for someone else. Everything should be shared. They are there to share your life, not just a convenient booty call that’s always avaliable. This is where divorce rises.
My grandmother told me when I got engaged (for the 5th time ) that if we fought , I wouldn’t be staying with her for a night. She flat out told me I’d have to stay home and work it out. Those are the best words anyone could have ever told me. We’ve gotten into some rather loud and gruesome fights over the years. We’ve learned to work them out now. That’s not to say we don’t fight anymore, we just hear one another out until things are settled. There is no running away.
So here we are 9 years later ( going on 10). He washes the dishes , cleans the house, cooks dinner for me, and takes the kids to doctor’s appointments. So what do I do? I try and make sure laundry is folded every weekend, keep the house clean on weekends, clean up on Mondays (the one day we both work, let him go out whenever he wants, watch the kids so he can sleep in on occasions and make sure groceries, bills, and schedules are taken care of.
All in all , we work together. There are still some kinks, but the fact that we appreciate the effort and voice the fact makes all the difference. You’d be surprised how much cooking a simple meal or starting the laundry can mean to someone that works all day.
My lesson in all of this? If your relationship isn’t working out , maybe you should talk to one another and re-evaluate where the two of you went wrong. That ” new ” love doesn’t last forever, but if you let it, something even better takes its place.
Your Beloved Author,